Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
When everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
You may be only one person in the world, but you also may be the world to only one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors. But they all have to learn to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today.
A tree's branches are not so foolish as to fight amongst themselves. Humans should learn from that.
--Author Unknown